Every day, I get calls from athletes who feel that they are lacking in self-confidence. I am currently working with a skier, a swimmer, a bowler, a tennis player, a pitcher, a second baseman, a golf pro and two soccer players. All of these people are trying to believe in themselves a bit more and trying to elevate their self-confidence.Yesterday,I got a call from a baseball player who is playing triple a ball for a major league team. He is worried because he has been in a hitting slump. In addition, he is fearful that his lack of confidence will prevent him from making it into the major leagues. Obviously, he is under some significant pressure and to make matters worse, he is doubting himself.
It is important to understand that players, parents, coaches and therapists spend a lot of time building youngsters' confidence.I have dozens of them.Bedtime is a great time of the day to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. When you get ready to go to sleep, you can use this quiet time to build yourself up instead of dwelling on all that went wrong earlier in the day or worrying about what could go wrong tomorrow.
Tactic Two: Do not let past failures keep you emotionally downtrodden. Nobody is perfect, but we must strive to be better individuals on a daily basis. If we make a conscious decision to let our past failures keep us in the dumps, we will continue to have negative experiences and behavioral patterns henceforth. Failure is as natural as life itself; dust it off and move right along.Tactic Three: Humor your flaws. Everyone has flaws. Do not let your flaws become intrusive barricades that hinder or bring halt to your life. When you can laugh at your flaws, you will start to blossom and grow. Laughter can mend a broken spirit. Humor will help you along the journey to improve your self-esteem.Tactic Four: Love Yourself! No, I am talking about being arrogant or egotistical. Self-love is when you realize you are of great purpose and great value. You can not truly love others unless you can first love yourself.
Tactic Five: Give and receive compliments. Do you feel special when someone gives you a beautiful compliment about yourself? Do you think you make others feel good about themselves when you give them wonderful compliments about themselves? Hopefully your answer to both questions would be yes. People want and need to feel special. Practice giving compliments on a daily basis and soon the favor will be returned upon yourself.We must not allow bad circumstances whether they be past or present to effect our daily lives. Improve your self-esteem to make a better you. We all tarry along in this life with many challenges and gaining a conscious grasp on who you are and learning to love yourself will assist you in building self-esteem. Better self-esteem equals better results in your life.
We come into this world with total self-confidence/self-esteem. An infant has self-confidence/self-esteem that their cries will get them what they need--food, diaper change, cuddling, communication, soothing, etc. If the child's needs are readily met and the child senses they are accepted unconditionally they flourish. If their basic needs for survival and emotional sustenance are only met sporadically or poorly their sense of self-confidence/self-esteem begins to deteriorate. If the child continues to experience deprivation they begin to view themselves as not being good enough to be cared for or cared about. Their birth-right to self-confidence/self-esteem has been compromised.
When you're in public and you see a very beautiful woman on the arm of a man who is plainly way out of her league, it's probably because he's the one who's had the guts to ask her out.One of my favourite sayings is - "Women go out with men who ask them". Now this doesn't mean that a woman will just go out with any old weirdo who hits on her, but that you're not going to get a woman if you don't ask her out. And often you'll be surprised at the results.
Disengage the nagging, negative internal critical voice. That negative internal critical voice can keep anyone stuck. To disengage the internal voice, imagine a volume control and lower the volume. Or simply change the internal voice to the Disney Channel. Do you think you could take Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck seriously if they were criticizing you? The point is to disengage the critical voice by altering the way it nags at you. If you hear your own voice or a critical parent voice nagging you, it will paralyze you. If you hear a funny voice, you laugh and maybe hear the irony of your negative internal critic and continue onward.
You see COURAGE is not acting without fear; courage is acting in spite of fear.When you make it a habit of being courageous you will increase self-confidence, because you are more likely to give the things you want a go, and when you are more focused on the doing rather than the thinking and worrying, you've overcome half the battle.Act and Feel Important.High self-confidence people have a habit of thinking highly of themselves through the way they behave and the image they portray. They have high levels of energy.If we were to look at their behaviour, you will notice that self-confident people stand up for themselves and speak up when it is appropriate.The image of self-confidence is also portrayed by the physiology and body language, by way they look after their body and the way they dress.Do you see many self-confident people who walk around with slumped shoulders and are dressed badly?No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are, so make it a priority to look good and feel important.
Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don't have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.
Act "As-if." Act as-if you already have the habit/behavior you desire. If you were confident, "How would you be feeling? What would you be doing? How would you be speaking? What would you be thinking? What would you tell yourself-self-talk?" By asking yourself these questions, you compel yourself to answer them by going into a confident state. You will then be acting "As-if" you are confident. As you continue to act "As-If" you will notice you are acting less and less as your behavior becomes a habit. Within 30 to 45 days you'll develop it into a natural habit/behavior.
Another powerful thing to do is find an unsuspecting or unlikely target to unleash your gratitude upon. Gratitude often works best where you would least expect it to. Perhaps you can show appreciation or be grateful to a friend or family member, or you have seen a beautiful tree or flower that brightens your day, perhaps appreciate your favourite song, or a really good hug... you will be surprised how many things you will find that you can appreciate and be grateful for everyday.Focus On Contributing To Others.People with low self-confidence tend to focus too much time on their own problems and flaws, they undervalue what they are capable of, and spend too much time being critical of themselves.They get caught up in this kind of thinking and as a result feel low in self-confidence.High self-confident people focus on the needs of other people, they take the attention away from themselves and focus on how they can be of service and contribute to others.
It is important to understand that players, parents, coaches and therapists spend a lot of time building youngsters' confidence.I have dozens of them.Bedtime is a great time of the day to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. When you get ready to go to sleep, you can use this quiet time to build yourself up instead of dwelling on all that went wrong earlier in the day or worrying about what could go wrong tomorrow.
Tactic Two: Do not let past failures keep you emotionally downtrodden. Nobody is perfect, but we must strive to be better individuals on a daily basis. If we make a conscious decision to let our past failures keep us in the dumps, we will continue to have negative experiences and behavioral patterns henceforth. Failure is as natural as life itself; dust it off and move right along.Tactic Three: Humor your flaws. Everyone has flaws. Do not let your flaws become intrusive barricades that hinder or bring halt to your life. When you can laugh at your flaws, you will start to blossom and grow. Laughter can mend a broken spirit. Humor will help you along the journey to improve your self-esteem.Tactic Four: Love Yourself! No, I am talking about being arrogant or egotistical. Self-love is when you realize you are of great purpose and great value. You can not truly love others unless you can first love yourself.
Tactic Five: Give and receive compliments. Do you feel special when someone gives you a beautiful compliment about yourself? Do you think you make others feel good about themselves when you give them wonderful compliments about themselves? Hopefully your answer to both questions would be yes. People want and need to feel special. Practice giving compliments on a daily basis and soon the favor will be returned upon yourself.We must not allow bad circumstances whether they be past or present to effect our daily lives. Improve your self-esteem to make a better you. We all tarry along in this life with many challenges and gaining a conscious grasp on who you are and learning to love yourself will assist you in building self-esteem. Better self-esteem equals better results in your life.
We come into this world with total self-confidence/self-esteem. An infant has self-confidence/self-esteem that their cries will get them what they need--food, diaper change, cuddling, communication, soothing, etc. If the child's needs are readily met and the child senses they are accepted unconditionally they flourish. If their basic needs for survival and emotional sustenance are only met sporadically or poorly their sense of self-confidence/self-esteem begins to deteriorate. If the child continues to experience deprivation they begin to view themselves as not being good enough to be cared for or cared about. Their birth-right to self-confidence/self-esteem has been compromised.
When you're in public and you see a very beautiful woman on the arm of a man who is plainly way out of her league, it's probably because he's the one who's had the guts to ask her out.One of my favourite sayings is - "Women go out with men who ask them". Now this doesn't mean that a woman will just go out with any old weirdo who hits on her, but that you're not going to get a woman if you don't ask her out. And often you'll be surprised at the results.
Disengage the nagging, negative internal critical voice. That negative internal critical voice can keep anyone stuck. To disengage the internal voice, imagine a volume control and lower the volume. Or simply change the internal voice to the Disney Channel. Do you think you could take Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck seriously if they were criticizing you? The point is to disengage the critical voice by altering the way it nags at you. If you hear your own voice or a critical parent voice nagging you, it will paralyze you. If you hear a funny voice, you laugh and maybe hear the irony of your negative internal critic and continue onward.
You see COURAGE is not acting without fear; courage is acting in spite of fear.When you make it a habit of being courageous you will increase self-confidence, because you are more likely to give the things you want a go, and when you are more focused on the doing rather than the thinking and worrying, you've overcome half the battle.Act and Feel Important.High self-confidence people have a habit of thinking highly of themselves through the way they behave and the image they portray. They have high levels of energy.If we were to look at their behaviour, you will notice that self-confident people stand up for themselves and speak up when it is appropriate.The image of self-confidence is also portrayed by the physiology and body language, by way they look after their body and the way they dress.Do you see many self-confident people who walk around with slumped shoulders and are dressed badly?No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are, so make it a priority to look good and feel important.
Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don't have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.
Act "As-if." Act as-if you already have the habit/behavior you desire. If you were confident, "How would you be feeling? What would you be doing? How would you be speaking? What would you be thinking? What would you tell yourself-self-talk?" By asking yourself these questions, you compel yourself to answer them by going into a confident state. You will then be acting "As-if" you are confident. As you continue to act "As-If" you will notice you are acting less and less as your behavior becomes a habit. Within 30 to 45 days you'll develop it into a natural habit/behavior.
Another powerful thing to do is find an unsuspecting or unlikely target to unleash your gratitude upon. Gratitude often works best where you would least expect it to. Perhaps you can show appreciation or be grateful to a friend or family member, or you have seen a beautiful tree or flower that brightens your day, perhaps appreciate your favourite song, or a really good hug... you will be surprised how many things you will find that you can appreciate and be grateful for everyday.Focus On Contributing To Others.People with low self-confidence tend to focus too much time on their own problems and flaws, they undervalue what they are capable of, and spend too much time being critical of themselves.They get caught up in this kind of thinking and as a result feel low in self-confidence.High self-confident people focus on the needs of other people, they take the attention away from themselves and focus on how they can be of service and contribute to others.
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